reflecting as I retell

Obviously there has been a lot happen in my life since I last saw my friends here in England.  The story usually begins with the most traumatic bit, and then the details don't get much better until later on.  Not everyone has time for the full telling; and I couldn't give every detail every time.  It's a story based in my reality, from my vantage point on this side of Gods understanding of me in eternity.  


What I will tell is one of my main life lessons; FORGIVENESS.  I remember growing up hearing the Bible story of the disciples asking Jesus how many times must they forgive someone, and then doing the math as to what number 70 x 7 would equal.  It seemed important to do exactly that number in my mind.  The point Jesus was making was that we're to forgive everyone every time without hesitation. 


Forgiveness is meant to be simple, not an act of contrition from the one your holding unforgiveness towards, but your own hearts forgiveness and release of that person from their sin (felt or real).   It's sometimes easy to forgive a person of that one thing, the one event.  The thing is there's those thoughts that keep coming back and accusing them of all the little failures, the things that should've been or what could've been.  Those are for me sometimes harder to recognize and forgive.  I will hear myself thinking 'if only'; and it's like a bell going off (eventually) that I need to forgive for even that small thing, or big thing.  It's so my heart can be released from the despair, anger, or grief that I feel around that thought.  MY HEART was not designed to hold despair, anger, and grief!  Forgiveness is a way of flushing my heart of those things that will destroy me.  THEY would destroy me!   


In Song of Solomon 2:15 it says: 
Catch the foxes^[e] for us,
    the little foxes
that spoil the vineyards,
     for our vineyards are in blossom.

 I think it's talking about capturing our thoughts, for this lesson that even means releasing forgiveness in my thoughts.  This kind of lifestyle I think leads to the life more abundantly that God has promised us.  I think it begins in our hearts surrender to Gods design in extending forgiveness to everyone every time.   Nope, it doesn't sound easy, but wow! when I finally give in to it it's life giving and adds such peace and hope to my life.  

I love that God has allowed us to serve again in England, it's bringing a lot of good things back to our lives, more on that later.  I'm listening to this & enjoying the last bit of the song, singing back to God.

http://youtu.be/_IVF8BG6Grc