My Dream Adventure

I used to spend Saturday mornings watching HGTV or DIY network shows.  I loved seeing the transformations and dreamed of having a home of my own.  One day, maybe, if my dreams still come true?

Hope builds so quickly in my heart.  

I spent the summer of 2014 looking at places, losing them to a faster bidder, or finding out that they really didn't pass inspection.  I would walk into a 'fixer upper' and dream about how I could make it our home. Well, I could, I just knew it.  I imagined all the things I'd learned on Saturday and how I could put my own spin on them here.  

In my life in missions I loved building homes!  I remember in 1994 being in a rain drenched mud pit, building a home, collecting rocks for the foundation and carrying bricks up the side of a slippery slope to build a family home.  It was crazy hard, but I loved that my labor was for something so significant, it was sacred.  Plus I love that I can say I know how to make cinder block in a mold (who does that). 

My turn came! I found a house, a deal that was only a miracle.  This great 1950's ranch.  If you look at my Facebook albums you'll see loads of projects.  

It hit me sometime during my Saturday morning that I hadn't watched any home improvement shows lately.  I was out on the ladder, painting my shutters.  I'd just finished the front door and porch chairs.  It'd be great to have a crew, like they do on the shows, to get the work done faster.  In the meantime I'm doing what I dreamed of, what I saw slip out of my hands, but I remained hopeful that I would have.  I'm a homeowner, I DIY... 

What are you doing for the holidays?

It's a pretty common question. One that's been biting at me lately. Actually the one that has me bawling like a school girl. A lot 

So, today it was there again, and my emotions were spilling over in grand form. That's when I asked myself why? 

Well, Thanksgiving was with my parents, who are in heaven at their own banqueting table. 

When we lived abroad it was with a community, and I cook, so we'd host everyone we could. 

My expectation was that I would have a big family. Four kids. That dream was from my childhood and I didn't get what I wanted. 

Whoa.. So there it was this root of anger or bitterness or a bit of both? I didn't get what I wanted. My expectations weren't met. It was the pain pressing against my desire that was causing agony instead of adventure. I had just been applauding myself for my ability to forgive. I hadn't forgiven. There's more to forgive & let God heal. 

There's more to forgive and let God heal!! 

So the answer is, I will be watching the Macy's parade; just like every year. Ethan will complain about how long it is & I'll say that its tradition, and I love it. We'll eat turkey and while decorating for Christmas we'll watch National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. I don't know where or who we'll be with. Guess what? It'll be good because I'll be a bit more free from the unforgiveness that has tried to rob me of the anticipation of a great season. 

God's greatest gift is eternal life, live well friends.