So, if you read my last post it was full of hope and this sense of abandon. Then this familiar friend, disappointment showed up and tried to show off. Why is it that during a season of coming into joy? Does there really need to be perseverance now? Apparently :)
For since the world began, no ear has heard and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for him. Isaiah 64:4
The thing is I'm not a quitter. I'm a glass half full kind of gal. I count my blessings in little ways, allowing myself to see that my expectations were just that; expectations. It means that there's more than I could ever hope or imagine coming, still coming.
I also got to experience a few new things in this unfurling of my heart season. One was pursuit. The other was anticipation. I loved how those felt to me; loved how I responded to them. God still whispering in my heart how he longs to know me even more
'O, love that will not let go. I rest me weary soul in thee, I give you back this life I owe, and in your ocean depths its flow may richer fuller be' ~George Matheson
That's what I'm after... a richer fuller being. I want to be richer and fuller and maybe a bit more vulnerable. Maybe not too vulnerable, but willing to see what will happen when I rest in God. Although I would like to remind Him that this unfurling of my heart was his idea :)
I think there's more God wants to say about all of this, so off now to hide my heart once again in him.
Blessings to you and your hearts my friends!
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Saturday, March 2, 2013
the unfurling of my HEART
When God speaks it's usually about his love and desire for me. It's really beautiful and a voice that I've known and come to rely on for a long time. It started way back when I was in the early days of my missions life He would say 'Hannah, I love you'. It was his signature on my heart. The way our conversations began.
When this year started I felt like God was saying that I was entering into a season of the unfurling of my heart. I didn't know my heart had been furled. I was content with where it was; but then realized that even my heart needs to be set totally free to love again.
It's not that I feel like I'm still a broken wreck. I have dreamed and lived and journeyed over these last years in ways that I never expected. I feel like I have come back to life, and this life is quite lovely.
"You can know and depend on the love that I have for you." I John 4:6 We know and have believed the love that God has for us; God is love, and he who remains in love, remains in God and God is love.
So why does God want to mess with my contentment? Isn't that what I'm supposed to come into?
I have learned to ask these questions and then in an act of obedience do what I don't have faith to begin; simply because God has asked me to. He is my loving Father, and his voice has led me so well. I trust that in this leading in this season He again knows what he's doing.
Pause, pause, pause, remember to breathe when moving out into uncharted territory.
So, when it comes to finding love I went to the place that seems to be receiving a lot of accolades... internet dating... don't be jealous :)
I was reduced to tears by a letter from someone pouring out their heart to me. A gentle soul with a writing skill mixed with the Holy Spirits softening of my heart. That's when I felt this true feeling of unfurling. Until then I thought all was good.
Then came a few first dates... or should we say a few funny and uncomfortable stories. I saw in them though this overarching banner which was God's love. It was like each encounter showed me more of my pent up heart and how it was slowly unraveling from the tight place I had left it safely years ago. Words and gestures I had come to never expect again were awakening; stirring a place in my heart that had been silent or sleeping until now.
I don't know what the rest of this season will hold. Maybe I'll tell a few more great stories. Yes, I have a few great stories. For now, I feel very near the brink of happy tears as God continues to lead me out into understanding more of His love for me through this amazing process.
God has desired and pursued me. He desires and pursues you. His banner over us is love, praying that our lives reflect the love we're given, and our hearts receive the joy that He has for us.
This is the song that I'm singing through this process, enjoy!
http://youtu.be/t4P_1hdtuW8
When this year started I felt like God was saying that I was entering into a season of the unfurling of my heart. I didn't know my heart had been furled. I was content with where it was; but then realized that even my heart needs to be set totally free to love again.
It's not that I feel like I'm still a broken wreck. I have dreamed and lived and journeyed over these last years in ways that I never expected. I feel like I have come back to life, and this life is quite lovely.
"You can know and depend on the love that I have for you." I John 4:6 We know and have believed the love that God has for us; God is love, and he who remains in love, remains in God and God is love.
So why does God want to mess with my contentment? Isn't that what I'm supposed to come into?
I have learned to ask these questions and then in an act of obedience do what I don't have faith to begin; simply because God has asked me to. He is my loving Father, and his voice has led me so well. I trust that in this leading in this season He again knows what he's doing.
Pause, pause, pause, remember to breathe when moving out into uncharted territory.
So, when it comes to finding love I went to the place that seems to be receiving a lot of accolades... internet dating... don't be jealous :)
I was reduced to tears by a letter from someone pouring out their heart to me. A gentle soul with a writing skill mixed with the Holy Spirits softening of my heart. That's when I felt this true feeling of unfurling. Until then I thought all was good.
Then came a few first dates... or should we say a few funny and uncomfortable stories. I saw in them though this overarching banner which was God's love. It was like each encounter showed me more of my pent up heart and how it was slowly unraveling from the tight place I had left it safely years ago. Words and gestures I had come to never expect again were awakening; stirring a place in my heart that had been silent or sleeping until now.
I don't know what the rest of this season will hold. Maybe I'll tell a few more great stories. Yes, I have a few great stories. For now, I feel very near the brink of happy tears as God continues to lead me out into understanding more of His love for me through this amazing process.
God has desired and pursued me. He desires and pursues you. His banner over us is love, praying that our lives reflect the love we're given, and our hearts receive the joy that He has for us.
This is the song that I'm singing through this process, enjoy!
http://youtu.be/t4P_1hdtuW8
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