I440 loop around the world

I was driving into the city from Clarksville.  There was a slight detour, and then I missed the merge and ended up going west instead of east.  Ah, but then there was the I440 loop, it goes east.  East pointed me towards home.  I made this mad loop around this little city.  I could've taken Briley Parkway, but I thought going through the city would be faster and I wanted to see downtown. 

 Sometimes I feel like I have made this mad loop around the world.  It's been just 10 months since I moved from Nashville to Thailand, spent the summer in England, and now back in Nashville.   Here's a little preview of our adventure, thanks for coming along for the journey!

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I have lived some wild dreams

My life has thrown me a few curve balls along the way.  Some that seemed less like a curve and more like a purposeful fowl ball right in the chin.  Life is about living so when these moments come I look to God the source of my life.  I live with the HOPE of things to come; the promises of life.  There are moments when it actually is painful to hope.  Like it's a choice, and choosing Hope over despair or discouragement takes an act of the will that sometimes feels more like pain than pleasure.  There have been moments this year when through heart ache I have chosen hope.  

This morning I woke up with the HOW? running through my mind.  How am I supposed to do this? Again?  My friend said I shouldn't look at this moment in my life as starting over, but as a chance for God to give me better things than I had before.  It feels a lot like starting over; like homelessness; jobless; car-less; starting over.  How am I meant to land back 'home' with none of the 'things' needed to survive that landing?  

I switch to survival mode really quickly.  Fighting mode.  I have a son, I need to provide for and protect him.  I am all he has; I so don't want to screw up... nope, not perfect, or striving for perfection, just looking to add joy to his life.  JOY, we have it in our little family.  At the moment what we have more of is tiredness and a bit of a lingering cough.  

In my mind we were going to go 'home' to Thailand.  Rest would come in our tiny little cottage; finally.  I have spent myself and my time this summer serving almost 2,000 people their dinners.  It's been a long, amazing, and exhausting outreach.  REST was in order, yet it seems the farthest thing from what is about to come to our lives. 

Our plane tickets were changed painlessly from Chiang Mai to Nashville.  I have hope that this transition back to our other 'home' will be just as painless.  God is the source of my hope.  The answer to the questions floating through my mind.  The good Father who has not abandoned me or left us homeless, jobless, or car-less.  

At the moment I don't know a lot of the answers to the HOW???'s, but my heart is at peace.  This week will be spent cultivating this love of God in my heart while resting, packing and discovering our next 'home'.   I have dreamed and lived some wild dreams, so the adventure continues and my heart keeps moving closer into my Father's heart. 

I eagerly await the beginning of next week when God has sorted more of this out!