I had traveled to Sweden, Switzerland, Germany, Finland, Russia and the Ukraine on missions trips. I memorized the "Roman's road" so I would know how to lead someone to salvation if needed. I was prepared; always prepared to give a reason for the hope that was in me.
My daily Bible reading was 5 Psalms and a Proverbs; but I still felt like I was probably not doing enough reading or praying for God. I only wanted to waste my life on Him. To make up for the sin I had previously committed, and to be a better Christian. I looked at the examples of Christians around me and felt that I was probably a miserable failure.
I was 17!
That year I went to a youth retreat over New Years. This was my first encounter with grace. The real tangible grace of God. It was a simple service. Communion. I could've said the communion passages if needed; I had heard and repeated them so many times. This time, however, the message got stuck in my throat. The leader just simply said God wanted us to remember Him. Breaking bread was just eating; drinking wine was just like at our house how we drank milk at every meal. God just wants to be with us in our everyday lives?!?
I felt the weight of those words on my heart. I sobbed; my heart which felt condemned so many times by my lack of performance suddenly just was real with God. AND God was really extravagant in his love for me. I had missed it in my busyness to try to please and look right and say the right things. God didn't care about all of that he just wanted me to remember him.
Remembering grace; allowing God to remind me of his presence in moments away from church. Outside of my feeling holy. In moments of great joy and pain. Just remembering Jesus; calling to mind his nearness to me; his loving pursuit of my heart. Jesus I remember you!
http://youtu.be/SswMKsFaHWE
I just love their exuberance!
